He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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