I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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