oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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