I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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