You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
