Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
