He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
