I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
