Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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