found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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