Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if only i could text you this smell
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
