I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize