Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
