Don't you send me to vm
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
