I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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