I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
