i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I checked into jail on foursquare
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
