It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
