Barsexuality is the new black.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
