God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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