oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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