normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
