I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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