can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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