why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
