Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
