he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
