Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
