Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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