I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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