was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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