sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
