she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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