I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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