Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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