We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
