don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
