I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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