It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize