so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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