I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
