would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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