found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
