Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian

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(719): View more from Colorado

Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?

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(917): View more from New York City

And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body

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(402): View more from Nebraska

At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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(513): View more from Ohio

One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING

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(801): View more from Utah

He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.

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(657): View more from California

There's even glitter on my cock...

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