He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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