If that was your dad, he is hot
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
