I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
