Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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