Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
