like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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