woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
