nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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