she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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