actually, I'm a sock model
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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