Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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