Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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