didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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